Andy Duffy on June 29th, 2009

If you are one of those people who says to themselves ”Ooo, now, what did he / she say their name was?” then this tip is for you. If not feel very good about already having a way of remembering names excellently and gallantly read on ! Read the rest of this entry »

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Andy Duffy on June 17th, 2009

News Flash:

“Top Performers all over the world study released.

97% of top performers are unreasonably optimistic” Read the rest of this entry »

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Many people who have had some NLP training will understand what an anchor is but do they really understand what it’s for? Read the rest of this entry »

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Andy Duffy on June 2nd, 2009
Metaprograms are useful to become aware of in conversation and these programs are context dependent and it’s worth keeping that in mind as some people have fallen into the trap of classifying and generalising their approach, “They’re a towards” gives you one approach but be aware that these programs are in a constant state of updating. We cannot not learn unconsciously or consciously and so you must remain flexible and keep calibrating, it’s like Ferris Bueller said “Life moves pretty fast - If you don’t stop and look around once in a while you could miss it!”
Life is a constant of change even if it sometimes doesn’t seem that so and one of the ways people hold problems or themselves from achieving is by the “Same shit different day” way of thinking. You may work in the same place geographically but as a student of life and having had many different jobs and roles in life you inherently know that every day is new, no two are the same and you hold the keys to unlocking your potential for that day, this hour, this minute. I’ve heard it said “It’s never too late to start your day over”, and when it comes to metaprograms and other unconscious processes these are in a constant state of updating depending of context, information, group dynamics, to name a few influences.
Think of these things as useful ideas if you notice someone talking in the ways that follow and realise that they can change in an instant. There is no right or wrong way to do this, you don’t need to change a towards into an away from, consider these ways of thinking that can help you utilise the natural processing of an individual of group to help them achieve their goals.
Here are some metaprograms, more to follow over the next week or so.
Motivation direction,
Towards. I want to be healthier so I can enjoy life more
“So, what things will you do when you are enjoying life even more, who’s with you and where are you enjoying this ?”
This statement invites the person to build a more compelling future by building the internal representation to move towards.
Away from. I don’t want to be unhealthy because that would mean allsorts of problems
“Well, you’re going to have to start with that real soon or it’ll be too late for you to do anything about it”
Using this statement at first can seem a little harsh but experience shows that with rapport and a genuine desire to be of help this focuses the person on doing something about the current situation as soon as possible, who likes to be late?
Modal Operators,
Possibility. I can learn to make it happen
“When you’ve learnt how to make it happen what else could you do?
Possibility statements include words like could, can, couldn’t or cant so use them back whenever you remember to.
Necessity. I have to walk the dogs
“It must be nice to have to exercise yourself and I’m curious, what do you get out of it? fresh air? time to think? a good walk?”
OK OK I’m being a bit sneaky here, by using modal operators of necessity here and combining possible other options I’m kind of introducing the possibility that there may be more to the walk that first thought. It’s not so much me trying to change them, it’s more about introducing options, possibilities if you will. Ever had the experience of having to do some thing? the feeling of must can get in the way. Whereas if there are a bunch of reasons to get something done anything is possible. Make sense?
What are some of the things you know you have to do?
Go to work?
Tax the car?
Choose something you have to do…..
Consider this;
How would it be if you choose to go to work because you enjoy the money you earn, because you get paid holidays, because of social interaction, because of the team, because it’s fun?(even if not all the time)
You choose to tax the car so you can go anywhere you like, any time you like, you can collect your wife,husband, partner, kids  up after their classes, you can get to your classes, you can do the weekly shop whenever you please.
With something you have to do, begin with “I choose to X because / so I can / Y” choose as many things as you can find that are advantages of the have to and write them down then repeat the sentence “I choose to because ,             ,            ,”
How does it seem different?
It can be said that NLP is the art of introducing choice at the unconscious level, this introduction of choice can take a variety of forms, become curious about your choices.
Until next week
Enjoy
Andy

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Andy Duffy on May 27th, 2009

” When they do the behaviour you don’t want them to do, snap em out of it and lead them somewhere else ” Cesar Milan - The Dog Whisperer. Read the rest of this entry »

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Andy Duffy on April 28th, 2009

Using presupposition with purpose

What is a presupposition and how is it useful?
Presuppositions imply certain things, pre supposing outcomes or ideas, one way of thinking about them is to consider what must be true in order for the statement to makes sense. These are a natural part of language which when used with purpose can greatly accelerate your ability to influence the people around you. Often we understand that if we are coaching or mentoring someone that being clear on our outcome is and important part of getting great results and it is also worth thinking about where in our day to day lives you can use the skill of presupposition with purpose. All communication is purposeful so as a skilled communicator you can appreciate the importance of defining purposes in every interaction.
The following questions, ideas etc are primarily designed for you to use in coaching situations but, as you read through you may begin to appreciate the power of purposeful presuppositions in all areas of life.

Question generation through presupposition

What do I want to achieve?

What information do I want?

What questions can I ask that will provide that information?

What is presupposed in the questions?

Advanced presuppositions in language

Sorting / Processing
Difference            How has it changed, What is new, How’s it                     different

Same                What is this like, How is X like Y, What does this                 have in common with that

Time
Past                Yesterday, Did, Had, Done, Since, Before

Present            Today, Have, Now, Here

Future                Tomorrow, Shall, Might, Will, Going to, Consider

Spatial
Location            This/That  Here/There

Functional relationships    Above/Below  In/Out  On/Off

Measurement quantifiers    More/Less  Some/Few  All/Nothing

Tips for coaching / influence and motivation

1. Have  a goal in mind

2. Start before you start

3. Be in rapport

4. Use  a gentle tone of voice as you enquire

5. Use softeners
“I wonder if…..”
“Can you tell me….”
“I’m curious to know…..”
“I’d like to ask you….”

6.  From time to time repeat back their words - they must be exact - their exact words.

7.  Use time effectively, sometimes the best information comes after a long pause.

8.  Use time and space language to build in future convincers

9.  Review changes in past tense “When we began you thought X now you think Y ?”

10. Set future outcomes in future tense “Where and when might his be useful? “Can you see where this could be useful?”

Consider something you’d like to feel more freedom over.

How is it different when this problem becomes that problem?

For fun you could now go through the first few paragraphs and see how many presuppositions you can identify. What might I have been presupposing about you and these ideas?

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Andy Duffy on April 20th, 2009

“In times of change the learners shall inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists” Eric Hoffer Read the rest of this entry »

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Andy Duffy on April 14th, 2009
“Congruency plus ritual equals change” John Grinder

When it comes to the techniques of NLP there are many different ways to introduce choice into situations where there seemed like there was none. Read the rest of this entry »

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Andy Duffy on March 25th, 2009

Content = Story
Process = Structure

Structure and process may initially seem like a section dedicated only to those who are working in a therapeutic or coaching fashion but in reality getting to grips with the way people structure their decisions can help turbo charge your life irrespective of the context. Read the rest of this entry »

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Andy Duffy on March 20th, 2009
“You cannot influence and be influenced” Christina Hall
You might remember last week some of the useful ideas or tips you found particularly impactful or maybe this is your first look at these tips, either way as you sit there reading through this tip you can relax and become curious about what will be most useful for you in the tip this week. Read the rest of this entry »

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